Sunday, June 3, 2012


Nicole and I have a pretty great relationship, but believe it or not, we have had serious conflicts before. These problems exclusively revolve around chores and housework (I'll admit to being lazy). She almost divorced me back when we had to do the dishes by hand, and I'm pretty sure the neighbors still think I beat my wife after an incident involving shoveling the driveway. Luckily technology solves everything, and a dishwasher and the biggest snow blower in the store easily saved our marriage on separate occasions.

Fast forward to now and the untamed wilderness that grows in our backjungle. I ignore it entirely until it's too tall to see out the windows. Nicole hates this. Which in turn makes her hate me. I don't like it when she hates me. Due to logistical reasons beyond my control (who designed fence gates to be so small?!), we couldn't buy the biggest lawnmower in the store, but I'm pretty sure we got the best one. A fancy new lawnmower is a lot cheaper than divorce attorneys.