9-21-2010

Some people do fat people yoga on the beach every morning while on vacation. I prefered to snorkel almost every morning I was in Hawaii. Here are more fish pictures:

Half a fish that reminds me of 90's swimwear
Wolverine fish
Eyebrow fish and friend
Polka dot puffer fish
Tiny covert ops camouflage fish
Really colorful fish
Less colorful but still fancy fish

After snorkeling, Nicole, Phil and I were left to babysit Baby Lily while everyone else when scuba diving. The three of us took turns getting massages at the spa which I didn't take pictures of...cause that would just be weird. After the massages, Nicole orchestrated a shower schedule in which she would be watching Baby Lily 95% of the time. Never underestimate just how badly two boys can watch a baby for even 5% of the time. Things started off fine. I took pictures of Baby Lily taking a nap while having lunch on the patio. Then I noticed she was moving around and making nightmare frowny faces. Our cat Mushroom does this too, and if you wake her up from her nightmare she realizes everything is ok and starts happily purring. I thought that a baby would work the same way. She didn't purr. I don't think she screamed this loud any other time on the entire trip except for when she bounced off a mattress and fell on the floor. Clearly unqualified to tend to a baby, I called Phil over, who promptly started mock crying back at her (though a solid concept, this did not work in practice but only encouraged her to be louder than him). After frantically dragging Nicole out of the bathroom where she was getting ready, she fixed the baby pretty much instantly. I should never have responsibilty for children. Ever.

After my Adventures In Babysitting afternoon, we went to Hank's Haute Dogs. I'll pretty much go anywhere that's been on the Food Network, and this place was on Diners Drive-ins and Dives. Since Hank's was in the super touristy area we went to before, I dressed to blend in. Ordering. Delicious fancy hot dogs. Makes you crazy. Then we walked off our lunch and saw this guy carving tiki statues, silver guy, and gold guy. As we were walking, we came upon this fancy old hotel. I guess princesses used to live here or something...I wasn't really listening to all the details, I just knew I wanted to invade it. So I grabbed Kim to look less suspicious, and help pretend like we belonged there. We rode the elevator to where the actual rooms are, explored the halls and took took pictures on the balconys. Then we found this sign which worked more as an attractor than a repellant. If they were to catch us though, I couldn't even lie and say I was blind since they had the good sense to write the sign in braille as well. Whatever, we went though their laundry room, into their service elevator and went up to the previously unreachable seventh floor where we found...the Being John Malkovich door. This was a rewarding discovery for our trespassing.

Our adventuring eventally led to Leonard's Bakery to get malasadas (Portuguese doughnut things my sister really likes). It was a glowing beacon of sugar and deep fried saturated fats. Today happened to be my cousin Phil's birthday, so naturally while in line, we decided that the only right thing to do was to buy him a cake. We had it decorated by this lady to celebrate the reoccuring anniversary of his 24th birthday (with two exclamation points). They even gave him a complimentary birthday gift to decorate his cake with. This lady packed these things up for us and acted as a visual warning to not eat too many of them (was that too mean? I'm a horrible human being). On the way out, we saw this incredibly local looking girl. Keep in mind I was still wearing my super tourist outfit...which probably accounts for her expression.

Back at the resort, the only way to wash down a box full of malasadas is to go to the hot tub and drink super classy wine in juice boxes with swirly straws from the Dole plantation. Thus began the plannings for Epic Ocean Run 2010. The first step was running though the resort sprinklers while wearing capes (I think screaming about gargoyles was also involved at this point)...followed by a mad dash down the beach and into the ocean (which was both too fast and far too epic to be fully documented). There is however, this picture of Kim holding me.

P.s. The beach the fat people did yoga on was the launch site of Epic Ocean Run.